A proper update on this project is well overdue. I think I have quite seriously contemplated giving up every day for the past couple of weeks. I've been trying to put my finger on what the real issue is, and it seems to be a number of things compounding. The most perplexing problem seems to be a loss of confidence in myself. I have managed to make over 100 pieces of music in as many days, and many of them I'm really proud of, yet I have lost faith in my ability to continue. What if I've exhausted all I had in me? What if I've just proved my mediocrity 100 times over? What if I just repeat the same ideas for the next 100 and become a broken record? These fears are ridiculous, but I'm finding it hard to switch them off.

SCP #69: I Am A Pane Of Glass

This project is as much about practicing performing as it is practicing composing. I was really struggling to get through a successful take of this one last night. I kept making small mistakes, and then rather than letting them go they were growing in my mind, forming distractions, and leading to larger mistakes and abandoned takes. The clock was edging toward midnight when I finally had a take I was happy with. I'm still learning ways to manage all the mental stuff that goes along with performing, particularly performing for recording, which I find more difficult than performing live. This project is definitely helping, although it's slightly stressful putting these raw recordings out into the public space where they can potentially exist forever.

SCP #67: Shiver

Yesterday I had to go into one of those huge city office towers to drop off some documents. It was the kind with a concierge in the lobby to direct you to the correct floor, and a stream of suits, motorcycle couriers and cycling lycra coming and going through the glass lifts. I spent a large chunk of my twenties quite unhappy in office buildings like this, and whenever I end up back inside one I feel very uncomfortable as the negative memories come flooding back in.

SCP #65: Colours Of The Season

Yesterday I was going through my videos of the past few weeks, putting them onto a USB to give to my partner's parents, and it forced me to sit back and evaluate just how productive I've been. There are a few songs I've written that have stuck in my consciousness for days or weeks after I'm done recording them, however most get forgotten as I turn my mind to the next day's work. Going back through them made me proud of not only the sheer quantity of my output, but also the quality of many of the ideas. It is not helpful to dwell on either the successes or failures of this project, however a look back through my work has given me a boost of confidence that will hopefully help me push through the dark and difficult patches that are becoming more and more frequent.

SCP #64: Ice-Cream Afternoon

If it weren't for the very public nature of this project I think I would have pulled the plug on it by now. Or at least taken a break. But I know from experience that if I take a break at something challenging it can be really difficult to start up again. Especially now, when the rest of my life seems to be getting in the way, if I stopped now I'd probably never find the "right time" to start back up again.

SCP #61: Salt and Grease

I live in Melbourne's southern suburbs, and for those unfamiliar with our city there is a strange North vs South divide that sees people hating on residents on the other side of the river to themselves. I have lived on both sides, and while I was a North-sider I spent a lot of time thinking the South was inferior. But then I moved across town and realised that I much preferred the South, and I barely think about the North at all, except when I have to travel over there to play a gig (which I'm doing tomorrow). Because while I prefer to live South of the river Melbourne's live music scene is concentrated in the North.

SCP #58: It, That Once Was Sweet For Him

This piece is not what I was originally working on yesterday. I had planned out a whole story-song and done lots of timed writing exercises to generate material to work with, but by the time I got that far it was after 11pm and I was exhausted. I looked up from my piano and into the mirror and my eyes were red and watery, so instead of pushing through I changed tact and did something much simpler.

SCP #56: Afternoon

This is Sunday's, and another very quick improvised piece. I followed on from the previous day by taking the fingers theme, and rather than improvising everything I did do a quick writing exercise, inspired by the sounds outside my lounge room window.

SCP #55: Res'vor

Keeping with The Getting Of Wisdom theme from the previous day, this piece is named for the protagonist Laura's sister, Pin. Pin is nicknamed Res'vor by their housemaid "on account of her perpetual wateriness", and so I worked with the idea of tears welling up for this improvisation. I had about a ten minute window to get this done, so I improvised it completely, without doing any thinking or writing exercises first.

SCP #53: Library Ladder

I hadn't realised it, but somewhere along this project I stopped judging my work and just got down to the business of doing it. For some reason my judgement was turned back on for this piece, which is why I realised it hadn't been there for the past few weeks. Despite recent complaints about the heat and lack of emotional and physical energy, all those songs felt like a breeze to work on compared to this one.

SCP #52: Butter Yellow

My first song of March. I'm writing this post from the library in air-conditioned comfort, taking a break from my hot and stuffy apartment. It might be autumn here in Melbourne now, but summer is still holding on. I uploaded this video from the library too, and was prepared with my songwriting notebook, water bottle and knitting to keep me occupied while I waited for it to upload. Except it took less than a minute to complete, so I lugged all that stuff down here for nothing. It seems slightly ridiculous, as a video of this length takes approximately two hours to upload on my home internet connection. I definitely think I'll be spending a lot more time in the library this year.

SCP #51: Custard Bones

One of the challenges to staying creatively productive is fitting the creative work in with the rest of your life. Before I went off to study music I worked a series of 9 - 5 jobs, however I only ever worked four days a week for most of that time. I tried my best to use my day off for creative projects, and I did accomplish a whole lot of creative things during those years. Ultimately, however, I found the constant shift between corporate and creatively mindsets exhausting. I think I'd be better at it now that I have some robust processes in place, but I do find it much easier when my work and creative practice are more closely related. My mind is never far away from music or art now, and my social circle is full of people who understand and support my lifestyle.

SCP #50: The Sentence Is Not Finished

I don't feel I have much to say today, as I'm pretty exhausted. I still have to go and write today's song, so I'll go get to work and let yesterday's music do the talking.

SCP #42: Some Kind Of Crazy Novelist

One of the reasons I started this project was to give myself permission to create whatever kind of music that day inspired. After releasing my debut album Twelve Moons last year I spent a lot of time struggling to categorise the music I liked to make, and trying to fit it into predefined genre boxes (folk? jazz? experimental?) that it was never quite the right shape for.

SCP #40: Moth

I could fib, and tell you that I recorded this yesterday and just didn't have time to upload it, but that's not really in the spirit of this project. So no, I didn't record this yesterday. I didn't even finish writing it yesterday. I had the guitar part and half the lyrics done, and then I fell asleep, exhausted, on the couch with a pencil in my hand while trying to work on the second half of the words. I gave in, and went to bed, I woke this morning refreshed but very annoyed that I hadn't just recorded what I had, instead of labouring over it when my mind had clearly switched off for the day.

SCP #36: A Pin On A Map

I have two younger sisters, and we are close in age and in friendship. My middle sister moved to New York last year, and although the internet makes it easy for us to send little messages back and forth throughout our respective days, it's not the same as having her here in Melbourne. I worked with the theme of distance from yesterday's piece, and wrote this for her. Recording it made me a little emotional, because I miss her, and reminds me of the power music has to move and change us, and make us think. Songwriting, for me it seems, is a balancing act between keeping unhelpful emotions out of the process, while allowing helpful emotions to flow freely through the composition and the performance.

SCP #34: Ruby Secrets

It's summer in Melbourne, and even though it wasn't particularly hot today my flat just won't cool down. I don't like to play or practice with the windows open for the sake of our neighbours, so spending time locked in a small room with no airflow has been particularly uncomfortable the last couple of days. I got about half an hour of guitar scales in today before I'd had enough, so I kept today's piece very simple.

SCP #33: Firsts

I have been having some really nice conversations with my friend Emilee Seymour lately, as she is visiting Melbourne from Paris for a few weeks. Today we went to the Australian Tapestry Workshop, which was a big leap back into my past. I posted about it on Instagram, and after a comment exchange with Lucy Roleff (a fellow Melbourne-based musician) I thought I would explore the issue of identity a little in today's blog.

Song-Chain Project, Wordless SongsErica Bramham10 February 2017wordless, guitar, creativity, voice, Song-Chain Project, identity

SCP #32: Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers

Today marks the first day of month two of this year-long project. I should probably write a bit of a reflection on month one, but I might do that as a separate post tomorrow when I have a some free time. Today I'll keep my writing about my composition, and I might get a little nerdy in today's post. If you're one of my non-musician friends you might want to skip through to the bit about the lyrics.

SCP #31: Popcorn

Today marks the end of my first month of songs and I can't quite believe I've produced 31 new pieces of music in as many days. I can barely remember what I did last week, let alone the first week of this project. I think my next task has to be to book a gig, so that I have an excuse to workshop some of these songs to completion.

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